I’ve spent the majority of my life feeling like I don’t belong.
When the cool kids were wearing their brand new Jordans on the first day of third grade, I was wearing the same pair of Kmart shoes I had worn in second grade, but with a fresh coat of white shoe paint my Mom had bought me in an attempt to make them look new. When the rich kids showed up on campus sophomore year driving their brand new Range Rovers, I was driving a $300 Ford Escort without air conditioning or a radio. And when I used my engineering degree to land a corporate career right out of college with a six-figure salary, stock options, expense account, and car allowance, I found I was the only Latino in the boardroom.
As a little kid, I thought I didn’t fit in because I was poor. Then as I got older, I started to believe it was because I was Mexican. But as a 44-year-old husband, father of five, and first-generation American, I now know these differences are just the tip of the iceberg.
Even when compared to my eight older siblings, who all grew up in the same house, with the same parents, it’s easy to see we’re all very different. From my taste in music and love for spicy food to my despising of fashion trends and intolerance for drama, my never-ending opinions and preferences are shaped by a life ONLY I have lived.
So why is it I’ve always felt welcomed in my family, but like an outsider among the greater society? Because up until I reached my forties, I thought “belonging” and “fitting in” were the same thing. Thank God, they are not. Fitting in is about “conforming” or “being the same” as the people around you. But belonging means “you are exactly where you are supposed to be”, just as God intended.
Knowing what I know now, I wish I could go back and explain this to my eight-year-old self, but I can’t. So the next best thing is to shout it from every rooftop I can climb, in hopes that some other little, insecure eight-year-old kid (or 58-year-old kid) might not waste as much time as I have feeling unworthy.
Through my time as a college faculty, small business consultant, and success coach, I have found most people share this feeling of unworthiness. While some may disguise it better than others, “not feeling worthy” is often at the root of our “worries about the future” and our “regrets of the past.” It’s why we stay inside our comfort zone, why we miss out on exciting opportunities, and why our dreams are still just dreams. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Not only is change possible, it is inevitable. The only question is whether you will use this change to your advantage or make it an excuse for why you still can’t accomplish your goals.
That said, this book is for the future change-makers, risk-takers, big-dreamers, and hope-dealers. By sharing the countless lessons I’ve learned, through a lifetime full of failures and victories, my wish is that others will be empowered to go farther and faster than they ever have. Because I believe we all belong, regardless of whether we fit in, and I’m done playing small and waiting for permission. Hopefully, you are too.
Welcome to The Órale Way: Where we’re all worthy and we all belong.
Here’s to the journey.
Órale!
Omar Jesus Bravo
